ME TOO!
Friday, December 30, 2011
Carlton Goes Indie | Bi Magazine
Carlton Goes Indie | Bi Magazine:
'via Blog this'
'via Blog this'
Larry Carlton's sweet little niece! I loved "A Thousand Miles", and you KNOW that "Rabbits On The Run" is a line from Paul McCartney's classic "Band On The Run".
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Sex on the brain: Orgasms unlock altered consciousness - life - 11 May 2011 - New Scientist
Sex on the brain: Orgasms unlock altered consciousness - life - 11 May 2011 - New Scientist
I'm the Zen Masturbator of multiple mental orgasms!
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Friday, December 23, 2011
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Pink Thoughts: Its Complicated
Pink Thoughts: Its Complicated: If your not transgender, lesbian, gay or someone that gets thrown into the catch-all bin of being labeled a "life styler," then you may be...
Friday, December 9, 2011
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Transdesance..Cyrsti's Condo: So...You Want to be a Girl?
Transdesance..Cyrsti's Condo: So...You Want to be a Girl?: I recently posted this on " Hub Pages ". The idea is one we have shared here so I thought I would bring it back. "Yes I'm a transgender...
Cyrsti is my FRIEND, and I love her <3!
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
"We are [who] we do" -(with apologies to) Aristotle
Technically my sexual/gender orientation and nomenclature ("genderqueer" or "genderfluid") DOES, in fact, define my sexuality/sexual behaviour. This is in reply to those numerous who claim that their orientation does not denote their behaviour. Mine is an accurate description. That is why I changed it from "heterosexual" which is SO last geological age for me.
I'm not specifically a sexual "submissive", but I do need my partners to take the more aggressive lead, and I do love "bottom" (I really have a nice one to offer, by the way, so hit me up). I especially love MtoF Transgenders (domme but gentle--no pain, and I'm not a slave), and I like young-ish, twinkie-looking cismales, and--of course--fembois. And I still love GG's, Asian and Euro-caucasian particularly.
I'm not specifically a sexual "submissive", but I do need my partners to take the more aggressive lead, and I do love "bottom" (I really have a nice one to offer, by the way, so hit me up). I especially love MtoF Transgenders (domme but gentle--no pain, and I'm not a slave), and I like young-ish, twinkie-looking cismales, and--of course--fembois. And I still love GG's, Asian and Euro-caucasian particularly.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Friday, November 4, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Stuart Spector Designs, LTD - Makers of fine electric and bass guitars: UNCOMPROMISING QUALITY | UNPARALLELED VERSATILITY | UNBELIEVABLE SOUND
Friday, October 28, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Friday, October 21, 2011
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Friday, October 14, 2011
Runnin' Down A Dream
In this e-letter, I am going to talk more about how to achieve freedom from emotional burdens and get what you desire in your life. But before I get into that discussion, let me ask you something that it's related to what I am about to talk about.
If you have a dog or cat you probably know what they do if you project a red dot on the wall using a laser pointer or when you project a bright spot using a flash light. Move the bright spot around on the wall. What does your pet do? Yes, they keep chasing the red dot or bright spot on the wall, never suspecting that you are the one projecting the light on the wall. They could be chasing the bright spot on the wall forever, thinking the red dot on the wall is a thing for itself. It would be frustrating chasing the spot and never catching it. If your pet realized that the source of the light was in your hand, it could end the game by chasing you, the source, instead of the projections on the wall. That behavior is funny and endearing for a pet, but I know I wouldn't want to chase the moving bright spot on the wall my whole life, not knowing where the source was, and only be frustrated that I cannot catch it.
Yes, in your waking life, very similar to when you dream, people and things in the world, for the most part, are representations and projections of a part of you inside. Things that you perceive do exist out there, of course, but how they are and how they behave greatly depends on how you model them in your mind, and that makes your world. The world that you react to with your emotions. True realization of this fact alone, brings about a great relief, a sense of empowerment, that you are in control and can change things to your liking. Many people may accept that as a fact, but few live it. And believing it and living it is the true realization that I am talking about.
Now, after realizing that others are a part of you and you can change things that are part of you, how can you use this realization to attract abundance, great relationships, or attain freedom from emotional burdens? Well, if everything out there represents a part of you deep within, to attract that thing into your life, wouldn't you need to just accept that part of you within? Wouldn't the answer be accepting and truly loving that part of you within?
Yes, for everything in the external world there's a counterpart, an image inside of you, a symbol within you; integrate that part of yourself, accept it, love it, and you will be on your way to attain that thing in the external world. If that part of you is not accepted, trying to change or attain its counterpart (its projection in the external world) can be frustrating; it's like trying to change a plot of movie in the movie theatre by walking up to the screen and trying to grab the images, instead of going to the projection room and change the reel.
For example, if you would like to attract abundance, first you should identify what it is INSIDE you that is the symbol of abundance. Accept and love that part of yourself, and you will be on your way to great abundance. [...sunshine:)] Now, think about anything that you would like to attain. What's its counterpart within you? Can you identify that?
Wishing you the manifestation of your desires,
Dr Eric ('Believe And Manifest')
Sometimes--rarely--advice is worth WAY-Y-Y more than you pay for it!
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Transdesance..Cyrsti's Condo: Visiting the Witches Caldron as a Transgender Girl...
Transdesance..Cyrsti's Condo: Visiting the Witches Caldron as a Transgender Girl...: Before I know it, the "bewtiching" hour will be upon me. A week from now a friend and I will be attending a "Witch's Ball". As I sit here m...
Saturday, September 24, 2011
"Transamorous"
"Transamorous": lovely new word that means "paratrexual"...that means TRANNY-LOVER...that means ME!
Monday, September 19, 2011
My Darling Allison
http://www.mydesert.com/article/20110918/NEWS01/109180326/Born-man-finally-living-life-herself?odyssey=mod%7Cmostview
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
bestservice.de at Website Informer. Best Service - Home - EN
bestservice.de at Website Informer. Best Service - Home - EN:
'via Blog this'
'via Blog this'
Check out my new celebrity endorsement! Do I get free orchestra software?
Friday, September 2, 2011
The sound of one hand slapping
The sound of one hand slapping. Of COURSE Immanuel Kant hated masturbation. He died a virgin (because masturbation IS sex; the best kind. "...with someone I love" -Woody Allen). "Kant was the most E-E-E-vil man een HEES-tory!" -Ayn Rand. Notice that masturbation gets better after 1925 when Ayn Rand came to America and began to get published. Also Anais Nin.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
Free Will Astrology : Scorpio Horoscope
Free Will Astrology : Scorpio Horoscope:
'via Blog this'
'via Blog this'
MAXIMUM SEX-AND-ROCK-AND-ROLL
SONG FOR ALL SEASONS
Although "Would you like to have sex?" is always good.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
TRUTH!
"As the leader of this cult Radical New Religion of TRUTH, I get a harem!"
-Franklin Veaux: Venn diagram of non-monogamy
-Franklin Veaux: Venn diagram of non-monogamy
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
No Surprise for Bisexual Men - Report Indicates They Exist - NYTimes.com
No Surprise for Bisexual Men - Report Indicates They Exist - NYTimes.com
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/23/health/23bisexual.html
I don't care what ANYONE says: Loving TG's makes a man BISEXUAL. And I am one tranny-lovin' bi-genderqueer paratrexual!
Monday, August 22, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
Pussy » Natural Energy » About Us
Pussy » Natural Energy » About Us Damn, I need some PUSSY! (This is the best marketing angle EVER!)
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
NASA - This Is What the Moon Looks Like From Space
NASA - This Is What the Moon Looks Like From Space
Taa-taa-taaaaaahh
Tuh-TAAAAAHHHHHHH
Boom-boom Boom-boom Boom-boom Boom-boom...
Friday, July 22, 2011
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
I just met...
David Ragsdale--violinist for Kansas--on the train home. We talked about Ned Steinberger equipment.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
You can not imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give.
You can not imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give., originally uploaded by Zum goldenen Hirschen.
Words of infinite wisdom.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Plus ca change...alas-alack, and also lack-a-day
Y'know what's so weird? I've only been into TG's (MtoF's) since 2004. I was GG-chasing strictly straight before that. But from the first transitioning TG that I met in 2004 until now, my feelings--ESPECIALLY Skorpionic jealousy--have been every bit as intense as the way I felt about girls in *JR* high! I'm polyamorous, especially about GG's, and I haven't felt this much heartache and jealousy in over 10 years. I really thought I was past this!
Friday, June 17, 2011
Same thing we do every night
Every night my closing manager tells his fully adult staff to "go straight home." And I do!
I go change into my wig, my thong, and my studded black leather trench coat. Then I wait for my tranny-girlfriends to come pick me up to go out sex-clubbing 'til 4am.
I go change into my wig, my thong, and my studded black leather trench coat. Then I wait for my tranny-girlfriends to come pick me up to go out sex-clubbing 'til 4am.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
"Wel-kumm to new times" (apologies to Chris Flynn/Art In America)
This afternoon (3:30p edt) I helped a lady (GG) at the bookstore find a T-shirt size (clothing is not my regular department). She looked so much like my favorite tranny-girlfriend on Facebook. With a touch of makeup and a stylish wardrobe she could almost be as pretty.
So it's come to me comparing GG's to my favorite TG's! Progress, I say.
So it's come to me comparing GG's to my favorite TG's! Progress, I say.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Proof
PROOF that the Gods and Goddesses want me to love trannies and to have my favorite TGGF's back:
6pm Mon. June 13 (2011)--Moon conjunct my natal Sun 28 deg's SCO--
I accidently pricked my left middle finger. This is the second Gibbous Moon that I cut a finger just before burning magick candles. It turns out on Tues. that my left middle finger is usually my anointing finger. I wiped my hot passion-blood on a small piece of paper and wrote my lovers' full names on it.
11:50am Tues. June 14--Preparing and carving a red-passion and orange-prosperity candles I discovered that my red candle has a loose wick that allows you to take it out and wrap it in small passion-blood-soaked bits of paper where you've inscribed your tranny-loves' names
6pm Mon. June 13 (2011)--Moon conjunct my natal Sun 28 deg's SCO--
I accidently pricked my left middle finger. This is the second Gibbous Moon that I cut a finger just before burning magick candles. It turns out on Tues. that my left middle finger is usually my anointing finger. I wiped my hot passion-blood on a small piece of paper and wrote my lovers' full names on it.
11:50am Tues. June 14--Preparing and carving a red-passion and orange-prosperity candles I discovered that my red candle has a loose wick that allows you to take it out and wrap it in small passion-blood-soaked bits of paper where you've inscribed your tranny-loves' names
Penis Envy Lives
I've discovered what Penis Envy--Freud's concept--really is, and what it implies. And that it is true.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Friday, June 10, 2011
Incest - Incest Versus Exogamy
Incest - Incest Versus Exogamy You KNOW where I fall on the spectrum!
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Sunday, June 5, 2011
LO-LA
Just got finished playing The Kinks' "Lola" with a whole new appreciation. Followed by the amazingly appropriate "It's My Life" by Billy Joel. For those who remember the early '80's.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Musings on #2
I)Better keep your #2 happy because you never know when #1 will flake-out on you.
II)It's a steep and slippery slope from #2 to "What was yer' name, little girl?"
II)It's a steep and slippery slope from #2 to "What was yer' name, little girl?"
Monday, May 30, 2011
"I call that a bargain; the best I ever had" (Peter Townshend/The Who)
Monday, May 30, 2011
By Rick Levine
Four planets in stubborn Taurus are activating your 7th House of Relationships, and no matter how confident you feel today, it's wise to remember that your point of view is only one out of many. It's not that you have drawn an incorrect conclusion; it's just that there are multiple roads leading to an infinite number of destinations. Reality is not as rigid as it currently appears. Be flexible in your thinking now, for new possibilities will appear sooner than you expect.
SING! SING! SING!
I got a chance to sing for 2 hours today (Memo-Day): ELP, Renaissance, Handel, Joni Mitchell, Melody Gardot, Amy Winehouse, Paul McCartney/The Beatles, The Moody Blues, Antonio Jobim, Puccini, Bernstein, Nicole Atkins. "The only thing better than singing is more singing" -Ella Fitzgerald.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Proximity my sweet ass!
Let's make this DAMN clear: NO bitch--NO how, NO time; cis- or trans--has ever left (ran away from) me because of her "proximity" to some other dickhead. She bolted because she knew that I am just TOO HOT to handle!
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Post-op romance
This question is primarily aimed at post-op MTF's who had full SRS over a year ago, and who date and dated "heterosexually". Those of you who have noticed this behavior in friends and lovers feel free to add your experiences.
Have you noticed in the year or more since your SRS that your feelings and attractions to cismen have changed? Do you veer now towards "traditional" or "heteronormative" values and gender markers? Do you find yourself oriented more to the "Evolutionary Biology" hypothesis wherein you adopt a "nesting" strategy in your relationships, almost like a ciswoman "breeder"?
Have you noticed in the year or more since your SRS that your feelings and attractions to cismen have changed? Do you veer now towards "traditional" or "heteronormative" values and gender markers? Do you find yourself oriented more to the "Evolutionary Biology" hypothesis wherein you adopt a "nesting" strategy in your relationships, almost like a ciswoman "breeder"?
The Printing Press->The Internet
"The 1990's saw the creation of the greatest organizing tool since that invention of the printing press: The Internet." -William E. Burleson Bi-America p.75
Saturday, May 21, 2011
http://cosmicsisters.multiply.com/journal/item/403/GAUQUELIN_-_Power_Spot_in_Chart
http://cosmicsisters.multiply.com/journal/item/403/GAUQUELIN_-_Power_Spot_in_Chart I have Jupiter in AQU (3), Venus in SCO };) (I) and Moon--exalted--in TAU (VII). Resistance is SO futile!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Polygamous Alpha Males
Have you noticed--as a general biological fact--that most Alpha Males, even lone Alphas, are polygamous?
Bad Sex (re: Cory Silverberg http://sexuality.about.com/u/ua/sexinformation/bad_sex.htm
REALLY BAD sex--the ONLY bad sex--is when a rival steals your girlfriend before you've even fucked her!
Opportunity cost of the internet
The internet and the social network exponentially increases the opportunity cost of where you are, what you are, who you are, and who you know.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
More real love
Be it a person or type of people, you do not love them until you allow them to break your heart. Yes, allow.
Polyamory, or The Harshness of Spawning a Substantive Meme
Daniel Cardoso, Master and PhD student in Communication Sciences
Faculty of Social and Human Sciences - New University of Lisbon
Polyamory. A noun. A word with a long story. A meme that has been growing in
Anglophone countries for nearly two decades, but only recently exploded in Portugal.
Although it is quite simple to trace the Portuguese polyamorous movement in Portugal,
trying to draw the story behind the world is much more complicated: it was born before it
was born, it was born several times over, in several different contexts, and most times only
as an adjective. This proves rather nicely – a point I'll make later on – the fundamental
difference between adjectives and nouns, between doing and being. All in all, this text was
almost titled “Polyamory, or How Love Lacks Originality”, but the present title has more
word plays, so it stuck.
This text aims to do a short historiography of this word. That will lead us, incredible as it
may seem, back to 1953 and to a series of online tools without which writing this article
would be nearly impossible. But before we get to that, we must give a definition of
polyamory within its current context – as a contemporary emerging social movement.
Haritaworn et alia (2006: 518) define it as «the assumption that it is possible, valid and
worthwhile to maintain intimate, sexual, and/or loving relationships with more than one
person».
Poly-Pre-History
Daniel Cardoso, Master and PhD student in Communication Sciences
Faculty of Social and Human Sciences - New University of Lisbon
Polyamory. A noun. A word with a long story. A meme that has been growing in
Anglophone countries for nearly two decades, but only recently exploded in Portugal.
Although it is quite simple to trace the Portuguese polyamorous movement in Portugal,
trying to draw the story behind the world is much more complicated: it was born before it
was born, it was born several times over, in several different contexts, and most times only
as an adjective. This proves rather nicely – a point I'll make later on – the fundamental
difference between adjectives and nouns, between doing and being. All in all, this text was
almost titled “Polyamory, or How Love Lacks Originality”, but the present title has more
word plays, so it stuck.
This text aims to do a short historiography of this word. That will lead us, incredible as it
may seem, back to 1953 and to a series of online tools without which writing this article
would be nearly impossible. But before we get to that, we must give a definition of
polyamory within its current context – as a contemporary emerging social movement.
Haritaworn et alia (2006: 518) define it as «the assumption that it is possible, valid and
worthwhile to maintain intimate, sexual, and/or loving relationships with more than one
person».
Poly-Pre-History
The main goal of this work is to confirm, compile and deepen the research done by the
Polyamory in the News blog, whose author – Alan – has been researching the origins of the
word 'polyamory', using the tools any Internet user has available: Google's. The first
occurrences in the lexical field of polyamory are adjectives that purport a general idea of
the concept (which would be, nonetheless, considered inaccurate by the polyamorous
community, most likely because it is too narrow): feeling sexual attraction or having sex
with several people. Let us look, then, to the first occurrences within the word family of
“polyamory”.
Up to now, the first known bibliographical registry we could find dates back to 1953. In the
first volume of the Illustrated History of English Literature, by Alfred Charles Ward, Henry
VII is called a «determined polyamorist», when the author comments upon the rising of
Protestantism in England – something that has to do with the King's «polyamorist»
behavior, certainly. There's an obvious negative and ironical tone here, but it shows how far
back we can find this conjoint use of these Latin and Greek etymological roots. Nowadays,
spelling varies between «polyamorist» and «polyamorous» (for a note on the Portuguese
spelling, see this).
The following reference - a work of fiction (Hind's Kidnap), by Joseph McElroy, published
in 1969 - uses the word «polyamorous» and associates it to a general argument about the
notion of the «Family» institution being over. Once again, a negative association, but this
time revealing some tension that arises from the idea that non-monogamy may question
and endanger the traditional and normative family.
We now go to France, skipping a few years, straight to 1971. In the XVIIe Siècle, Joséphine
Grieder says that “to be polytheist […] is to be poly-amorous” (this statement is then
quoted in La Rochefoucauld and the Seventeenth-Century Concept of Self, by Vivien Thweatt,
published in 1980). We're presented here with an interesting connection between paganism
and druidic spirituality on the one hand and, on the other, the idea of being “polyamorous”, through the liaison made by the worshipping of several divinities and their deity
aspects – a connection that still includes the hyphen, showing how difficult it is to mingle
these etymologies.
Approaching the current notion of polyamory, there´s a book called Marriage: For &
Against, written in 1972 by Harold Hart, where the author says «It seems to me plain
enough that people are very commonly polyamorous». And yet, somewhere else in the book,
we read «It may be, as some say, that women by nature are not poly amorous; but all such
naturalistic reasoning is a snare and a delusion. Very few men or women are truly
polygamous; few would be at all inclined to be involved in two or more […]» - this is where
the allowed preview in Google Books ends, but the question itself is far from settled, and it
is still a part of many online discussions on how contemporary polyamory should be
understood: whether there is, or not, a biological, genotypical, natural drive that
predisposes humans into non-monogamy. Within that rhetoric, monogamy is built as a
social imposition which is imbued of a (hidden) rationality (such as economic, sexual or
moral control, for example).
Then contexts begin to change: we find the following reference in the abstracts of the 7
th
annual encounter of the American Anthropology Association (edited in 1975), more
specifically in the biography of one of the participants: Carol Motts. It alludes to the future
of humanity, in the 23rd
century, a future dominated by the homo pacifis (Latin for, literally,
'peaceful man'), whose characteristics are: «individualistic, freethinking, polyamorous,
vegetarian». Two different influences of polyamory start to meet here: academia and
Science Fiction. By-the-way, science fiction by the hands of Robert Heinlein (particularly
for his work Stranger in a Strange Land) is one of the main historical inspirations of the
contemporary polyamorous movement and one of the most often quoted references to non-monogamy.
The adjective pops up again in 1977, in a book about fictional representations of the First
World War (The First World War in Fiction, by Holger Klein), where Italy is described as
being «polyamorous-incestuous».
Two years later, in 1979, we find a new and important idea: a connection between the
adjective «polyamorous» and the LGBT community. In The Gay Report: Lesbians and Gay Men Speak Out About Sexual Experiences and Lifestyles, bisexuality is portrayed as having a narrow
scope and the use of «poly-amorous, meaning many kinds of love relationships with many
kinds of people» is suggested to replace it. Here is found one of the main primary tensions
around the contemporary idea of polyamory: is it, or is it not, a sexual orientation? Howdoes polyamory relate to whatever sexual practices might (or not) be involved? (Just to
clear things out: no, one cannot mistake polyamory as a sexual orientation identity; it is a
relationship identity. This question popped up many of the times I was interviewed on
these matters, that I had to stress it).
There are still two references left when it comes to this poly avant la lettre: again, a work of
fiction, The Disinherited, by Matt Cohen, in 1986, where the author mentions a «polyamorous
perversion» and, lastly, the New Scientist number of April 22
nd
1989, where Charles Darwin's
grand-father is mentioned, as well as one of his erotic poems, where plants are treated as
people, carrying on with their «polyamorous ploys». From what is known so far, these are
the sole references that pre-date the birth of «polyamory» as a noun. So this is the turning
point, and the next paragraph will bear witness to the birth of this meme (which happened
twice, actually).
Poly-History
We mentioned before a spiritualist reference, and that is precisely the first origin point of
«polyamory» – straight from the Church of All Worlds (which is, actually, the name of the
then-fictional church that the main character from Stranger in a Strange Land creates, inbookinbook) comes the notion of polyamory, in 1990. In May 1990, Morning Glory ZellRavenheart published, in a newsletter (that later became a magazine) called Green Egg, an
article titled «A Bouquet of Lovers». In this article, a new (or not so much) word made its
appearance: «poly-amorous», an adjective pertaining people who have sexual-loving
relationships with more than one person at any given time, or want to, and that
acknowledged others‟ right to have them too. According to Oberon Zell, and as reported
by Allan in Poly in the Media, a few months afterwards, in August of the same year, the
Church of All Worlds was invited to a public event in Berkeley and organized a Glossary
of Relationship Terminology to present – and there it was, finally, the word «polyamory».
Nonetheless, this was a highly-specific audience and context: mostly a group of neopagans, such as Morning Glory and Oberon themselves. The word was thus created but it
still lacked any real circulation – or at least one that would explain its current dissemination
at an international level. As for an anecdotal evidence, Ryam Nearing publishes in 1992 a
book called The Polyfidelity Primer, but the word «polyamory» is conspicuously absent from
the book, although the concept was basically the same.
Since then, a rather large slice of pagans, around Oberon and his family, have been deeply
connected to the dissemination of alternative family models, always within the context of a
religious, pagan and spiritualist logic – which isn‟t a small feat in itself, considering thee
national projection of the concept within the USA. All in all, another relevant figure within
this context is Deborah Anapol. Along with Ryam Nearing, she funded the Loving More Magazine in 1995; in 1997 she published Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits, that remains
to this day one of the movement‟s ex-libris when it comes to the spiritualist, tantric and
pagan side of polyamory.
Poly-History, Part 2
The other trend of polyamory is markedly less religious or transcendental – one can even
call it more cosmopolitan, and maybe less concerned with showing anti-capitalist ideals and
more worried with the solution of some day-to-day problems that arise in consensual nonmonogamous relationships in Western „First World‟ countries.
Even though there are no quantitative data to definitely substantiate this matter, it seemsthat this is the model that most heavily influenced the Portuguese polyamorous community,
or at least the one that seems the most vocal, from my direct experience.
A woman, called Jennifer Wesp, was debating «about the morality of having nonmonogamous relationships» in the alt.sex Usenet mailing list with Mikhail Zelany, when she
got «tired of typing non-monogamy» and concluded that «it wasn‟t a good piece of rhetoric
to use a negative, hyphenated word to make a positive point». Ergo, when writing an e-mail
that she, herself, considered a part of the ongoing „flame war‟, Wesp decided to create a
word that could convey a positive idea, that wasn‟t linguistically attached to a direct
comparison with monogamy. We thus observe the same phenomena we've seen with
Morning Glory: creating a word that could suppress a lack felt within a certain community.
Apparently, West felt that the word «non-monogamy» didn't convey enough ideological
content, just as Glory had felt towards «polifidelity».
There was some element that needed reframing, and this feeling generated an eruption of
linguistic innovation. The debate initiated by Jennifer Wesp drew some attention, as did the
word, to the point that users decided to create a new Usenet mailing list (May 20
th
, 1992).
The message that started the mailing list, and the subsequent discussion around it, is still
available online.
This discussion is, in itself, revealing of much of what was mentioned before: where to
place (within Usenet‟s hierarchy) a group about polyamory? And where does this word
come from, since it‟s not in the dictionary? Is this about romance or sexuality? Should it
have a hyphen or not (per example, Wesp‟s initial proposal included a hyphen which
suddenly vanished from the conversation)? All these are questions raised by the participants
of that online debate. At the beginning, Wesp was counting on a group of about 30 people
that, according to what she thought, would be interested in participating in that mailing list.
She herself admits that the word was made-up, that it wasn‟t a «real word», but that «onethat this is the model that most heavily influenced the Portuguese polyamorous community,
or at least the one that seems the most vocal, from my direct experience.
A woman, called Jennifer Wesp, was debating «about the morality of having nonmonogamous relationships» in the alt.sex Usenet mailing list with Mikhail Zelany, when she
got «tired of typing non-monogamy» and concluded that «it wasn‟t a good piece of rhetoric
to use a negative, hyphenated word to make a positive point». Ergo, when writing an e-mail
that she, herself, considered a part of the ongoing „flame war‟, Wesp decided to create a
word that could convey a positive idea, that wasn‟t linguistically attached to a direct
comparison with monogamy. We thus observe the same phenomena we've seen with
Morning Glory: creating a word that could suppress a lack felt within a certain community.
Apparently, West felt that the word «non-monogamy» didn't convey enough ideological
content, just as Glory had felt towards «polifidelity».
There was some element that needed reframing, and this feeling generated an eruption of
linguistic innovation. The debate initiated by Jennifer Wesp drew some attention, as did the
word, to the point that users decided to create a new Usenet mailing list (May 20
th
, 1992).
The message that started the mailing list, and the subsequent discussion around it, is still
available online.
This discussion is, in itself, revealing of much of what was mentioned before: where to
place (within Usenet‟s hierarchy) a group about polyamory? And where does this word
come from, since it‟s not in the dictionary? Is this about romance or sexuality? Should it
have a hyphen or not (per example, Wesp‟s initial proposal included a hyphen which
suddenly vanished from the conversation)? All these are questions raised by the participants
of that online debate. At the beginning, Wesp was counting on a group of about 30 people
that, according to what she thought, would be interested in participating in that mailing list.
She herself admits that the word was made-up, that it wasn‟t a «real word», but that «one
can always hope».
Little did she know…
The Strength of a Meme
Considering that we‟re talking about a word that was made up time and time again, in theConsidering that we‟re talking about a word that was made up time and time again, in the middle of these rather obscure situations, and that popped up, for example, in a 30-people
mailing list, in a time when Internet was an even scarcer resource than it is today (and kind
of didn't exist as we know it now-a-days), «polyamory» is a rather successful meme. And,
according to Google N-Gram Viewer, the number of references has been growing quite a
lot; when this growth is compared to the word «polygamy», for example, it‟s noticeable that
this last one has been plateauing, and even losing some relevance, even though despite still
being much more common than «polyamory».
One final consideration: it‟s in these moments that one can understand the fundamental
difference between an adjective and a noun. Polyamory, as a memetic identity, only came
about when a full-fledged noun was invented. It is by gaining a name that polyamory allows
its subjects to acquire an identity, to acquire polyamory as an identity and from then on to
engage in identity politics, and present a façade, a morality, to establish a pattern or a set of
patterns. That opens up the possibility of engaging in a series of normative questionings aswell as the possibility of creating a new normative experience around an overly-stable
notion of what «polyamory» is. Alternative as it may be, it would be nonetheless normative.
This is the meme‟s power, and also its threat. The memetic force that feeds the propagation
of an idea is the same force that makes it turn into a set-in-stone idea of immutable
permanence.
Maybe in twenty years‟ time (and with more automatic tools to allow the collection and
compilation of data) it will be possible to do a more complete history of this word and its
correlates. For now, a glossary of relationship terms of neo-pagan inspiration and a mailing
list with about 30 participants gave place to 394 thousand results in a Google search for
«polyamory», 261 thousand for «polaymorous» and 18,900 results for «poliamor» (the
Portuguese and Spanish spelling)…
Bibliography
Alan. (2007). «Polyamory in the News: “Polyamory” enters the Oxford English
Dictionary». Polyamory in the News!. Accessed on January 26
th
, 2009, from
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2007/01/polyamory-enters-oxford-english.html
Cardoso, D. (2010). Loving many - Individualization, networks, ethics and polyamory. Masters‟
Thesis in Communication Sciences. Faculty of Social and Human Sciences - New
University of Lisbon, Lisbon.
Haritaworn, Jin; Lin, Chin-Ju & Klesse, Christian. (2006). «Poly/logue: A Critical
Introduction to Polyamory». Sexualities, 9(5), 515-529.
Reference
Cardoso, D. (2011). Polyamory, or The Harshness of Spawning a Substantive Meme. Interact, (17). Obtained
from http://interact.com.pt/17/poliamor/
i Translated and adapted by Daniel Cardoso. Some differences from the original are to be expected due to the
adaptation to an Anglophone audience and context.
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